Honestly Dishonest

Whenever I say, “Be completely honest with me.” …I’m not being completely honest. I despise honesty. No. I take that back. I despise being honest. However, I demand honesty in others. As long as it lines up with what I believe. When I say, “Tell me what you think about this.” …I mean, “Tell me … More Honestly Dishonest

Duped by Dough

Bread sticks have made me their fool. They’re just “plain” pizza. Bread sticks are what I’d get if I ordered pizza by saying: “Give me a large, pepperoni with no sauce, meat or cheese.” It’s like asking for my pizza crust ‘on the side’. Then paying extra for it. The bread sticks I ordered recently … More Duped by Dough

Send In MORE Clowns

I wasn’t aware that the number of clowns is diminishing. The clown population in my neighborhood has remained constant for decades …at zero. I wouldn’t notice a change in that number unless a clown moved in next door. Then I would assume that clowns were in abundance. So many clowns that they were spilling into … More Send In MORE Clowns

Jesus Loves Fred

Fred Phelps died. Not a surprise, really. It happens to everybody. But Fred’s death brings a kind of satisfaction, doesn’t it? He really deserved to die. That’s how it seems to me anyway. Man, he was a hateful cuss. Ironically, he’s who I think about when I hear the word: Sinner. I don’t think of … More Jesus Loves Fred

A Vanilla Explanation

I discovered a melted ice cream cone on the sidewalk. A friend suggested that some poor soul had dropped it there. “You’re a simpleton,” I retorted smugly. I’m well versed in the arguments for the origins of Sidewalk Ice Cream. Skepticism is my strong suit. I relish every opportunity to showcase my talent. “Where is … More A Vanilla Explanation